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Are You Praising People the Correct Way?
How do you praise people? When your child achieves a good mark on a test or assignment, do you say to them "you must be really smart at this", or do you say "you must have worked really hard "?
In a 10-year study, psychologist Carol Dweck and her team at Columbia studied the effect of praise on students. She found that those children who were praised for their hard work did better in subsequent work, they were happier, and worked harder than those who were praised for being smart. Apparently, when acknowledging good effort students associate the achievement with the work, not their smarts, so they will continue to work well.
If you praise the student for being smart then when they fail they feel that their failure was evidence that they weren't really smart at all. This increases stress levels and they won't be as eager to tackle a challenge. If you praise the student for their effort, then when they fail, they assume that they just need to work harder to succeed.
Those people who have had to work hard all their lives and their efforts have been recognized are those who have developed good work habits, are happier and aren't frightened of failure. This will take them much further than someone who is smart and doesn't put in a good effort. Congratulate someone on the hard work: not their brilliance. Let their brilliance shine through their work!
Carol Dweck's Mindset Research:
1. Presentation that explains the difference between fixed and growth mindset
http://cbpen.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/page-presentation-mr-lb.pdf
2. How Not To Talk To Your Kids – the Inverse Power of Praise
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
3. The Praise A Child Should Never Hear
http://blogs.wsj.com/informedreader/2007/02/13/the-praise-a-child-should-never-hear/
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